NKOTB Baby!

You must click here for NKOTB's new single "Summertime."

And I think they all look great--but seriously--that picture of Jon makes him look like the retarded cousin.

p.s. I hope they have a great dance tune lined up eventually!

Mama's Coming Home . . .

Not literally, but I'm pretty sure this place will feel just like home this weekend in Berlin:

White Trash Fast Food
Schönhauser Allee 610119 Berlin
Fone: 030.5034 8668
Opening Hours:daily from 18:00

Loves it!

Stupid Bitch Lesson #2

This is a lesson for anyone to learn, male or female.

Nothing, and I mean nothing, is more annoying than when you are sitting in an empty theater and the next people to come in choose the seats right in front of you. I will never understand why people do that for the life of me. Are you too afraid to sit about six or ten feet from someone else in the dark? Are you actually afraid of the dark? Why, why, why do you insist on sitting in front of someone?

And oh the best part--you, as a stupid bitch, walk into the theater, see me sitting there with MY FEET ON THE BACK OF THE CHAIR AND YET YOU STILL INSIST ON SITTING IN THAT CHAIR. You know I have to take my feet down. And I just love your extra stupid bitchiness when you, yourself, put your feet on the chair in front of you. Feels good, doesn't it, you stupid bitch?

Seriously, choose one of the other 500 empty seats. And maybe next time, your stupid bitch ass doesn't have to get told.

Remember, don't be a stupid bitch, b/c no one likes one.

You're welcome.

Stupid Bitch Lesson #1

My new thing lately has been to call out certain females when they are being what I like to call "stupid bitches." It's when they do something that they know is annoying as hell or just plain wrong, but act like it's not happening. I have decided that as I notice certain acts of stupid bitches, I will post them. This way you too shall be able to recognize a stupid bitch when you see one, or most importantly, stop yourself from being a stupid bitch.

Stupid Bitch Lesson #1:

"Oh I'll just have the veggie plate please."

Now ordering a lite dinner is perfectly fine. I'm not about to rag on being healthy. But you step over into stupidbitchland when you order that but proceed to eat everyone else's food around you. You know you want the fries, steak, burger, nachos, and whatever else is on someone else's plate. But yet you as a stupid bitch insist on "ordering healthy." But you are not eating healthy when you lick everyone else's plate clean. And then you are a super stupid bitch when you have the audacity after dinner to act like you ate healthy. Or make comments like "I think the portions are reasonable." No Stupid Bitch, YOUR portion was not reasonable. You behaved like a fat ass and ate everything. You are that Stupid Bitch who orders a salad but eats her man's fries. Now, don't get me wrong--I could care less what the hell you eat. Just don't be stupid and act like you didn't eat it. Own it--announce to the table that you can't believe that you just ate your weight in cheese. I will respect you more. The world will respect you more.

Today's Lesson: Don't be a Stupid Bitch. Because we all know, no one likes Stupid Bitches.

You're welcome.

My first fingernail

Ok so those who know me know that I can't stand nails. I keep my creepily short. And yes, that means I'm 4 and bite them. That's exactly what I've done since I was 4 as a matter of fact. Anyways, I'm too grown up to do that now-whatever that means.

I haven't been sure that my nails will even grow beyond a shadow of whiteness anymore, but lo and behold, I have my first fingernail. It's on my left thumb. So weird--I can't stop obsessing about it. I want to cut it. Now mind you, it's not long enough for anyone to notice that I even have a fingernail, but you can see white people. I'm doing my best to let it grow. And I think I'm even secretly hoping it's the only one that does grow, so I look like a creepy drug dealer.

But I don't know if I can resist cutting this damn thing off. Can I break old habits? I really hope so, b/c there are like 500 others I need to drop. Starting with my taste in men . . . yikes!

Things I miss about America, Series 2

Brent had a good one today --

Water in the toiletbowl - For reals, yo! They have like 1/3 cup sitting in there, and well, it's gross. Leave it to a boy to point this one out!

Here's some more:

Ice - dear god, I miss a cold beverage. When we get ice, it's like a god, and we sit in silence to enjoy it. And by the way, since when did I use the word "beverage?" What am I, 83?

English-speaking TV programs - Enough said.

Sandwiches - finding a simple sandwich shop here is like looking for the pot of gold at the end of a rainbow. Ooh, let's add "quick" sandwich shop to that, as well.

I really miss America for food reasons apparently. Wow.

Things I miss about America, Series 1

1. Ketchup - I miss glorious ketchup bottles placed on just about every restaurant table in America. Here I'm lucky if I can get it, and then they give me a teeny tiny amount, and it makes me sad. On top of that, I miss the taste of American ketchup. Oh sweet sweet ketchup with fries.

2. CVS/Walgreens/Duane Reade - I miss being able to get the little things you need, like hair products, deodorant, floss, all the other millions of gems that one can find in a "convenience" store. I have never understood nor appreciated that term more than ever now. I know why some of the people stink here. They simply cannot easily locate the personal hygiene products they need.

3. Couches - My gigantic, comfty bed in the hotel room is great and all, but I miss being lazy on a damn couch. I honestly don't think I've sat on a couch or laid on a couch since I arrived.

4. The word "douche bag" - I miss calling everyone I know that word or a "d bag." I'm surrounded by work people all day, so it's entirely inappropriate here. But dammit, I miss insulting those I love.