Dear Love,

I have the flu today, so I stayed home from work. There's nothing like laying around, being sick and feeling sorry for yourself to make you remember the "good times." So I thought of you today. A lot. And it really has bothered me. I no longer have contact with you. Haven't for awhile. I have no way in getting in touch with you, and I'm not sure that I ever really did. So in the hopes you come across this blog, I wanted to just say "I miss you."

I do. I really miss you.

There was a time in my life where all you did was make me smile. Your wit, your charm. A time when I had you to myself. Well, a few others knew about you. That's when it was good. Then, as time went on, I wasn't afraid to let others know how I felt about you. That I loved you. That you made me happy, despite some people's disbelief that you ever could. I fought them. I denied their negativity that it would ever work. I told them that you would stick around to make me happy for many years. That you were worth keeping. So many people didn't believe in you. I did. In fact, I stuck by you in the good times and the bad. I was always faithful. I always believed that even when you were awful, you would come back to me. And sometimes you did.

Then you went away. I didn't even really have a warning. Well, that's not true. I saw it coming for awhile, but I was in denial. I guess I always knew our love would be canceled eventually. When it happened, I talked about it a lot. I acted like I didn't really care though. That it didn't hurt me that much. That I wouldn't miss you. That deep down, you really weren't that good enough for me, and I was just "in love." Jaded.

As time went by and continues to go by, it's no longer really acceptable for me to talk about you. The excitement of seeing you has really worn off. In fact, there are days I don't think of you at all. I long for those days. People think it's pathetic that I even still think of you from time to time though. But lying on my couch today, I did think of you. I did miss you. I wish you were here with me again. To wrap me up in your friendship, warmth, understanding -- to comfort me in my time of sickness. I just wish I had all of you again. All two seasons.

I will forever be yours October Road.

A reason to wake up in the morning

Dear God. I have always found this man unbelievably attractive, but I had kind of forgotten him as of late. Never. Again. His body and smile are amazing. He has given me a reason to post again.

For the love of God and my eyes . . .

Please world - STOP showing the picture of OctoMom's pregnant stomach. It is so gross. I'm not even commenting on the fact she got herself pregnant with eight babies or that she's on welfare or whatever. I don't care. I only care about never seeing those pictures again. It's insane. When I see those pictures, I feel sick. I can't help it. If that makes me a bad person, I don't care. Don't. care. They are gross.

And I can't seem to escape them. I mean, every celeb gossip site has them up, obviously. So I had to avoid the internet today. Because let's be honest, I really only read those sites. Now, I come home from work and turn on the TV - and boom, the news is showing them, celeb gossip TV shows are showing them. I'm pretty sure I could turn it to any channel right now and I'd somehow see these awful pictures.

Just stop. I can't take them anymore. Thanks.

Tipsy posting is fun

So my lack of drinking as of late has caused me to get tipsy after TWO beers people. TWO. Lame. But good for you - why? I'll post ridiculousness.

First thing, B and I were just thinking of our old neighbors and how we always knew when they were having sex. How would we know? Would we hear them? No. Instead, they would always close their blinds, and then about 20 minutes later, open then while being half naked. Those neighbors have long since moved away, and thank god -- only b/c hot guy has moved in. Dave. He's hot, has a great dog and is a MURSE. So awesome.

Second thing, I'm hard core crushing on a boy. Hard. core. I can't even speak around him. Ok that's a lie. I can't shut up around him. What I mean is I can't even speak in normal terms around him. I literally say things that are so ridiculous that I am in awe of myself. I have not felt like this about anyone in forever, if ever. This guy is objectively hot to me. And then, you get to know him, his personality is even hot. I mean, I'm used to having to wait to find someone hot once they make me laugh. Anyway - this guy has it all. So I need to flirting tips. I'm normally pretty good at it, but not this time. I'm a 12-year old. I'm nervous, clammy, talkative and absolutely giddy. God, I want to do him. I'll keep you posted. When flirting happens, I will report back in. . .

Till then - I think I need more beer.

Random Things

So I have wanted to post for awhile now, but haven't found anything worth dedicating a whole post to . . . so I'll just rant.

1. Please people STOP talking about Phelpsie and the pot. Who cares anymore. On that note, please also stop about Chris Brown. I'm so sick of reading about it. I don't even feel bad for Rihanna. I don't care how "screwed" he is.

2. I realize I have a new type of guy. The tall guy. Ever since ever, I have always favored the average man - 5'9" was perfect. Now, no, I want the 6'2" to 6'4" man. This is incredibly boring for you, the reader, but for me - it's like a whole new world now. I mean, there are men at work that I never noticed before. And they are cute.

3. Now, I'll leave you with my new obsession. The E*trade baby.




I'll get better at this posting again. Promise.

A Love Letter

Dear Robert Pattinson (aka Edward),

I am writing you so that I can thank you. Your ridiculous hair, brooding stares, terribly pale skin, plump red lips, and amazing jaw line have made me a tween all over again. I saw you in Twilight, and I fell in love. My instant reaction, other than wanting to rip your clothes off, was to immediately purchase everything Twilight related. I want to buy posters of your face to wallpaper my room. I have even considered buying lunch boxes, giant pins for a jean jacket buried in the back of my closet, sheets, dolls, magnets, and trapper keeper folders of you -- all so I can see you everywhere I go. I don't even know if these items exist, but the last time I had this urge was circa 1989 for Joey McIntyre paraphrenalia, and so I daydream of buying similar items of your face now. I have even considered purchasing the entire Twilight soundtrack so I could hear your song, and I'll admit, I don't even know if I like it. But it's you. It's nice to break-up my adult life with these little girl fantasies. You remind me of a simpler time, and the thoughts I have of you are so reminiscent of never-ending days of doodling my initials with my boy crush of the hour's initials. (RED + RP 4-EVA!) The only difference between my thoughts of you and my thoughts as an actual tween is that my fantasies of you sometimes include sex. Super hot sex.

Love always,

Your #1 Fan

Vacation Plans 2009

So I've been trying to figure out where I want to vacay next year. I've had my heart set on Hawaii for some time, and I'm sure I'll still go. BUT -- the other day, H and I came across this place in France:


DOUCY-EN-BAUGES


I must, must, must go to this place. Why? Have you not figured it out? The name of the place is basically Douche Bag. Or Douche-y Bag. Hilarious. This is the most phenomenal geographic find ever for me. I love the words "douche bag." Or "D-bag," "douche-pon," "douche-cape," etc. It's perfect for my 14-year old mentality. Yes! Who else wants to travel there with me?