Dear Robert Pattinson (aka Edward), I am writing you so that I can thank you. Your ridiculous hair, brooding stares, terribly pale skin, plump red lips, and amazing jaw line have made me a tween all over again. I saw you in Twilight, and I fell in love. My instant reaction, other than wanting to rip your clothes off, was to immediately purchase everything Twilight related. I want to buy posters of your face to wallpaper my room. I have even considered buying lunch boxes, giant pins for a jean jacket buried in the back of my closet, sheets, dolls, magnets, and trapper keeper folders of you -- all so I can see you everywhere I go. I don't even know if these items exist, but the last time I had this urge was circa 1989 for Joey McIntyre paraphrenalia, and so I daydream of buying similar items of your face now. I have even considered purchasing the entire Twilight soundtrack so I could hear your song, and I'll admit, I don't even know if I like it. But it's you. It's nice to break-up my adult life with these little girl fantasies. You remind me of a simpler time, and the thoughts I have of you are so reminiscent of never-ending days of doodling my initials with my boy crush of the hour's initials. (RED + RP 4-EVA!) The only difference between my thoughts of you and my thoughts as an actual tween is that my fantasies of you sometimes include sex. Super hot sex.
Love always,
Your #1 Fan
