Dear Love,

I have the flu today, so I stayed home from work. There's nothing like laying around, being sick and feeling sorry for yourself to make you remember the "good times." So I thought of you today. A lot. And it really has bothered me. I no longer have contact with you. Haven't for awhile. I have no way in getting in touch with you, and I'm not sure that I ever really did. So in the hopes you come across this blog, I wanted to just say "I miss you."

I do. I really miss you.

There was a time in my life where all you did was make me smile. Your wit, your charm. A time when I had you to myself. Well, a few others knew about you. That's when it was good. Then, as time went on, I wasn't afraid to let others know how I felt about you. That I loved you. That you made me happy, despite some people's disbelief that you ever could. I fought them. I denied their negativity that it would ever work. I told them that you would stick around to make me happy for many years. That you were worth keeping. So many people didn't believe in you. I did. In fact, I stuck by you in the good times and the bad. I was always faithful. I always believed that even when you were awful, you would come back to me. And sometimes you did.

Then you went away. I didn't even really have a warning. Well, that's not true. I saw it coming for awhile, but I was in denial. I guess I always knew our love would be canceled eventually. When it happened, I talked about it a lot. I acted like I didn't really care though. That it didn't hurt me that much. That I wouldn't miss you. That deep down, you really weren't that good enough for me, and I was just "in love." Jaded.

As time went by and continues to go by, it's no longer really acceptable for me to talk about you. The excitement of seeing you has really worn off. In fact, there are days I don't think of you at all. I long for those days. People think it's pathetic that I even still think of you from time to time though. But lying on my couch today, I did think of you. I did miss you. I wish you were here with me again. To wrap me up in your friendship, warmth, understanding -- to comfort me in my time of sickness. I just wish I had all of you again. All two seasons.

I will forever be yours October Road.