Scientology and Me

So Niki recently posted some of her responses to some of the questions asked on the Scientology questionnaire. She "challenged" her readers to answer some questions themselves. You too can play. RadarOnline provides some sampling, and I've chosen some of my favorites questions.

Have you ever torn out someone's tongue?
Only in my dreams.

Have you ever consistently practiced sex in some unnatural fashion?
Pass.

Have you systematically set up mysteries? Next question: Have you ever made a practice of confusing people?
(Enough said)

Have you ever smothered a baby?
Only with love. Seriously though - what answer are they looking for here?

Have you ever exterminated a species?
Well, my sophomore year of college, Kate and I had a crazy infestation of lady bugs. It was insane! So we actually did have to start vacuuming them up. I know that sounds cruel, but it was ridiculous. So yes, I guess I am evil.

Have you ever made love to a dead body?
No, but I have had sex with someone with no soul. Is that worse?

Have you ever castrated anyone?
Again, only in my dreams.