Saturday, March 29, 2008
Tickle Yourself Elmo!
So I had to post this Dane Cook "Tickle" joke b/c it reminds me of this inside office joke we have here. I cannot stop giggling. And those of you who know me, know that my laugh is out of control.
Anyways, I make fun of Jake G. b/c he caresses his arm while he works, almost like he's tickling himself. Cowboy then pretends to be Jake G. tickling himself. It's hilarious. "No Jake, don't tickle your feet."
Can you imagine someone actually tickling their own armpit? Hilarious.
Taxi!
One of my keen observations here in Europe has been the difference in taxi drivers compared to the US. I have had some of the most hilarious taxi rides here and in Paris than I've ever had in New York.
Last weekend in Paris, Julie, Jen and I were in a cab, all in the backseat. The song "Dancing Queen" by Abba came on. We literally whispered, "Oh I like this song." I mean what girl hasn't danced to that 718 times in college? Seriously. He then proceeds to blast it. I mean blast it, windows up style. Of course we then felt obligated to sing it ridiculously loud. Good times!
Then here in Budapest, the taxi driver this morning, mind you, was again out of control w/ the radio. He busted in HIS OWN CD of American rap. He then played it incredibly loud with the bass pumpin'. All while he floored it. When we arrived to work, we definitely needed a drink and some slutty clothes on. Yeah I wouldn't mind seeing Jake G. in one more of his ridiculously tight T-shirts. (Side: "There goes her fat ass in that too tight T-shirt." I digress.)
You will never have this experience in New York. Never.
Last weekend in Paris, Julie, Jen and I were in a cab, all in the backseat. The song "Dancing Queen" by Abba came on. We literally whispered, "Oh I like this song." I mean what girl hasn't danced to that 718 times in college? Seriously. He then proceeds to blast it. I mean blast it, windows up style. Of course we then felt obligated to sing it ridiculously loud. Good times!
Then here in Budapest, the taxi driver this morning, mind you, was again out of control w/ the radio. He busted in HIS OWN CD of American rap. He then played it incredibly loud with the bass pumpin'. All while he floored it. When we arrived to work, we definitely needed a drink and some slutty clothes on. Yeah I wouldn't mind seeing Jake G. in one more of his ridiculously tight T-shirts. (Side: "There goes her fat ass in that too tight T-shirt." I digress.)
You will never have this experience in New York. Never.
Thursday, March 27, 2008
Cute Dentist
Well I survived my dentist appt. Nothing major needs to be done--I'm getting a filling on Monday. Why? B/c I'm 12 and eat candy. But overall the exam went well. He just looked at my teeth, poked around. Not sure why I had to get undressed for that, but who am I to judge Hungarian dentistry?
And oh--the hateful little man at the hotel who hates me has been MIA lately. That or I just haven't noticed him b/c he's following me while hiding in a plant or something. I'm sure that's it!
And oh--the hateful little man at the hotel who hates me has been MIA lately. That or I just haven't noticed him b/c he's following me while hiding in a plant or something. I'm sure that's it!
Wednesday, March 26, 2008
Goodbye Loved Ones!
This may be my farewell post for tomorrow I have to go to a dentist, here. The movie Hostel keeps coming to mind. In case you haven't seen that movie, it's about American tourists in Europe who get kidnapped. They are then tortured and killed by rich people across the world who are bored. Yep, that may be my dentist tomorrow.
Well, it's been real, yo!
Well, it's been real, yo!
Fan Wars
So the initial table wars that we had at the beginning have now become the fan wars. We have two 1978 oscillating fans in this hot, stinky room. Now, the room is small, but not so tiny that we are all sitting right next to each other. Anyways, there's one fan in the front part of the room, and one for the back.
The Stache literally had the nerve to come take the back room fan (my back room fan), and sit it directly in front of him. And oh the topper - HE TURNED OFF THE OSCILLATING FUNCTION AND IS LITERALLY JUST SITTING IN FRONT OF THE FAN WITH HIS STACHE OF GLORY BLOWING IN THE WIND.
Of course, I have to say something at this point. So in front of everyone, I tell him just how rude he is. Unbelievable! I cannot for the life of me stand rude people. The Stache has gone too far. Again, I'll break the fan before he has his own.
I think the wheels from his chair are going to have to be removed as well. Yes, I'm hateful today. Not good for the Stache.
The Stache literally had the nerve to come take the back room fan (my back room fan), and sit it directly in front of him. And oh the topper - HE TURNED OFF THE OSCILLATING FUNCTION AND IS LITERALLY JUST SITTING IN FRONT OF THE FAN WITH HIS STACHE OF GLORY BLOWING IN THE WIND.
Of course, I have to say something at this point. So in front of everyone, I tell him just how rude he is. Unbelievable! I cannot for the life of me stand rude people. The Stache has gone too far. Again, I'll break the fan before he has his own.
I think the wheels from his chair are going to have to be removed as well. Yes, I'm hateful today. Not good for the Stache.
Tuesday, March 25, 2008
Mortal Enemies
For some reason, the little man who works in the exec lounge loathes me entirely. It started off small, a dirty look here and there. Didn't think much of it. Then, one morning he tells me that I can't take an apple juice and a water--something I have taken every morning since my arrival, and something that just about everyone else does. So I look at him, open the apple juice, drink it in front of him, slam the bottle down, take the water and go. WTF? I mean, why is he the apple juice police with me and no one else. So I was steamed - and then to top it off, when I went downstairs, others had 2 drinks--BUT NOT ME--OH NO. That little, hateful man made sure of that.
Things then escalate . . .
The morning of my flight to Paris, I went back to the exec lounge to print my boarding pass. Lucifer is again working. He sees my suitcase, smiles and says, "Oh you are finally leaving yeah?" "No, I'll be back." [insert sinister laugh here] He frowns instantly. He asks me where I'm going and what time my flight is. I tell him "10 am." Mind you, it's 7 am. We are 25 minutes from the airport. He then proceeds to go crazy on me:
"Oh no, you too late. You might as well go right back upstairs b/c you aren't going anywhere. I can't believe you are leaving so late. There is too much traffic. Tell Paris goodbye."
OH MY GOD. Is he for real? I have THREE HOURS DUDE.
I feel very uncomfortable, so I'm like "I think we're cool." I leave and decide to go down to the business center. I'd rather pay for copies than sit with this hateful man for too long.
HE FOLLOWS ME. Like I'm a shoplifter or something. He watches me print at the business center all hateful. What did I do to this little man?
So it is on. It has become my life's mission to mess with this man. I think tonight I'll go to the exec lounge, open one of everything, take a sip, and leave open bottles all over the place. Jake G. suggested that I just pour the peanuts into my bag, and then tell him they're out of peanuts. Or next time he follows me, I'll walk all weavey like to see if he does too. Yeah--these cruel cruel jokes will show him. You don't mess with a mastermind like me. Oh no.
Stupid hateful man.
Things then escalate . . .
The morning of my flight to Paris, I went back to the exec lounge to print my boarding pass. Lucifer is again working. He sees my suitcase, smiles and says, "Oh you are finally leaving yeah?" "No, I'll be back." [insert sinister laugh here] He frowns instantly. He asks me where I'm going and what time my flight is. I tell him "10 am." Mind you, it's 7 am. We are 25 minutes from the airport. He then proceeds to go crazy on me:
"Oh no, you too late. You might as well go right back upstairs b/c you aren't going anywhere. I can't believe you are leaving so late. There is too much traffic. Tell Paris goodbye."
OH MY GOD. Is he for real? I have THREE HOURS DUDE.
I feel very uncomfortable, so I'm like "I think we're cool." I leave and decide to go down to the business center. I'd rather pay for copies than sit with this hateful man for too long.
HE FOLLOWS ME. Like I'm a shoplifter or something. He watches me print at the business center all hateful. What did I do to this little man?
So it is on. It has become my life's mission to mess with this man. I think tonight I'll go to the exec lounge, open one of everything, take a sip, and leave open bottles all over the place. Jake G. suggested that I just pour the peanuts into my bag, and then tell him they're out of peanuts. Or next time he follows me, I'll walk all weavey like to see if he does too. Yeah--these cruel cruel jokes will show him. You don't mess with a mastermind like me. Oh no.
Stupid hateful man.
Thursday, March 20, 2008
It's My Party and I'll Do Shots If I Want To . . .
We celebrated my birthday last night, since we'll all be in different cities this weekend! It was great! We went to a Mexican restaurant, b/c well, we just can't eat Hungarian anymore.
Anyways, this post is boring, but before going to the restaurant, they actually decorated the executive lounge in the hotel. I had hats, blower thingies--the works. I got to blow out candles. So this post is for the amazing people I work with here. I heart them!
[It should probably be an apology post, but I don't remember much after the restaurant. . .]
Anyways, this post is boring, but before going to the restaurant, they actually decorated the executive lounge in the hotel. I had hats, blower thingies--the works. I got to blow out candles. So this post is for the amazing people I work with here. I heart them!
[It should probably be an apology post, but I don't remember much after the restaurant. . .]
Wednesday, March 19, 2008
Tuesday, March 18, 2008
I'm an Embarrassment
Something is wrong with my insides--I'm not sure which ones. Anyways, I'm sitting, not hungry, and this horrendously loud noise comes from my chest. Like a stomach growl from the heart. WHAT THE HELL IS THAT? I mean it's weird. I'm not gassy or anything like that. It literally sounds like my heart is roaring. Of course, being in this tiny room is awesome when something freakish like this happens.
I will have no friends by the day's end.
I will have no friends by the day's end.
Monday, March 17, 2008
Still here
Well, I survived this weekend. Saturday was a national holiday here, and there are always big riots. All the streets were blocked off and police were everywhere in tanks and all. At the same time, everyone is out to all the markets/festivals, etc.
Not us though--we road tripped! We rented a car and hit up three cities along the Danube. The first city was Szentendre, or as the Cowboy pronounces it "Shzitaturd." It really does kind of sound like that. It was a super cute fairy tale town, with small pink and yellow buildings. I then saw a castle with amazing views, to finally end up at Hungary's largest church. It was a great day with great company, but I am even falling asleep as I type about this.
I will tell this boring story too though -- I tried Palinka, the Hungarian drink of choice. Dear God--it makes your mouth and tongue go numb, and throat burn. I loved it and hated it all at the same time! I tried some sherry based Palinka, but apparently there's one that tastes just like tequila. Oh yeah baby--tonight for St. Pat's day fo sho.
Not us though--we road tripped! We rented a car and hit up three cities along the Danube. The first city was Szentendre, or as the Cowboy pronounces it "Shzitaturd." It really does kind of sound like that. It was a super cute fairy tale town, with small pink and yellow buildings. I then saw a castle with amazing views, to finally end up at Hungary's largest church. It was a great day with great company, but I am even falling asleep as I type about this.
I will tell this boring story too though -- I tried Palinka, the Hungarian drink of choice. Dear God--it makes your mouth and tongue go numb, and throat burn. I loved it and hated it all at the same time! I tried some sherry based Palinka, but apparently there's one that tastes just like tequila. Oh yeah baby--tonight for St. Pat's day fo sho.
Friday, March 14, 2008
Eye Candy
This is the most phenomenal Euro dude of all time. At this club we all went dancing at one night, he was there rocking out. I wish you could see the full chest and smell the BO. But he was not in costume, this is his look, and his dancing was, well, too much for words. He was a really cool guy!
Updates Back Alright! (Sang to the BSB Hit "Everybody (Backstreet's Back)")
11:17 am
Ok one of the women here dresses super cute, but she always wears something around her neck - be it a scarf or sweater. What's she hiding? Sure it could be an innocent fashion statement--but not so fashionable chicky. Instead your neckwear is greatly distracting from your otherwise awesome wardrobe. I'm going w/ hickies. Remember those? Oh the high school hickey. Now, if you get one, it's by accident and it's horribly embarassing, not to mention, a great excuse for a "personal day" from work. I so want a hickey.
Ok one of the women here dresses super cute, but she always wears something around her neck - be it a scarf or sweater. What's she hiding? Sure it could be an innocent fashion statement--but not so fashionable chicky. Instead your neckwear is greatly distracting from your otherwise awesome wardrobe. I'm going w/ hickies. Remember those? Oh the high school hickey. Now, if you get one, it's by accident and it's horribly embarassing, not to mention, a great excuse for a "personal day" from work. I so want a hickey.
Day Who the Hell Knows B/c I Feel Like I've Been Here for Months Already
Sorry for the non-posting as of late. Things have just been busy on my end. [REDACTED]
Anyways, apparently there is a big political thing going down here on Saturday. There's riots and tear gas, sounds like a party. We are going to do some more investigating just to see how true that is, but that kind of puts a downer on things. Looks like it might be room service and a movie on Saturday.
Oh, here's another update for you all. We finally got fans! So now it's hot, with slightly less hot air blowing on my face, and the BO is being spread all through the room instead of being confined to one stinky corner. Breathing deep is fun.
Anyways, apparently there is a big political thing going down here on Saturday. There's riots and tear gas, sounds like a party. We are going to do some more investigating just to see how true that is, but that kind of puts a downer on things. Looks like it might be room service and a movie on Saturday.
Oh, here's another update for you all. We finally got fans! So now it's hot, with slightly less hot air blowing on my face, and the BO is being spread all through the room instead of being confined to one stinky corner. Breathing deep is fun.
Tuesday, March 11, 2008
Day 10: Live Updates
6:29 pm
John Lennon totally redeemed himself today by bringing various bottles of Hungarian white wine for us all to taste. Ok so not totally redeemed, but a little.
2:36 pm
Wow, could this office be anymore boring. Here's a funny email from B that I got:
Did you know that the currency in Vietnam is called the dong? I did not and was reading an article about it in the Economist on the bus today and laughed out loud when some finance dude was talking about the strong dong...I am 12.
"Strong dong" - [REDACTED]
10:39 am
This one is for you H - but the Stache is sitting across from me today. He routinely does the ridiculously loud breath blow out thing. Except his breath actually has a stale scent to it. Gross.
10:40 am
Oh yeah, I'm back at my desk. Weird thing is, I feel bad about it. Even though, I have sat at this desk for the past week or so, and everyone else has their own station. Why did he choose me? I think it's b/c he has a crush on the woman who normally sits across from me. I would love to see the Stache flirt.
John Lennon totally redeemed himself today by bringing various bottles of Hungarian white wine for us all to taste. Ok so not totally redeemed, but a little.
2:36 pm
Wow, could this office be anymore boring. Here's a funny email from B that I got:
Did you know that the currency in Vietnam is called the dong? I did not and was reading an article about it in the Economist on the bus today and laughed out loud when some finance dude was talking about the strong dong...I am 12.
"Strong dong" - [REDACTED]
10:39 am
This one is for you H - but the Stache is sitting across from me today. He routinely does the ridiculously loud breath blow out thing. Except his breath actually has a stale scent to it. Gross.
10:40 am
Oh yeah, I'm back at my desk. Weird thing is, I feel bad about it. Even though, I have sat at this desk for the past week or so, and everyone else has their own station. Why did he choose me? I think it's b/c he has a crush on the woman who normally sits across from me. I would love to see the Stache flirt.
Monday, March 10, 2008
Day 9: IFHM
Wow, I've been MIA as of late. I actually had some time to explore the city this weekend. So beautiful! It put me in a such a peaceful mood that I thought, I can't blog about this. No one wants to read that. Besides, I've saved this blog for times I want to rant and be mean. And that's now. . .
F*ing Stache is going to die. He comes in and just sits at my desk and is like "I like this desk, I'm taking it." Oh little boy, you have just brought a rein of terror down upon yourself. I was cool, I'll give him the desk today, but so help me--I'll shit on the desk tomorrow before he sits there again. haha
Or will I . . .
[REDACTED]
Either way, I hate the Stache and his hobbit ties.
See, now isn't this post better than some post about my spiritual experience in the city this weekend? Thought so!
F*ing Stache is going to die. He comes in and just sits at my desk and is like "I like this desk, I'm taking it." Oh little boy, you have just brought a rein of terror down upon yourself. I was cool, I'll give him the desk today, but so help me--I'll shit on the desk tomorrow before he sits there again. haha
Or will I . . .
[REDACTED]
Either way, I hate the Stache and his hobbit ties.
See, now isn't this post better than some post about my spiritual experience in the city this weekend? Thought so!
Friday, March 7, 2008
Day 6 Cont'd: Live Updates
3:46 pm
Just thought you all should know that The Stache has worn the same suit everyday this week, but he's changed his awesome ties. Yesterday's tie was yellow and covered in little trees and cabins. And he wears weird boot shoes, w/ the back of his pants tucked into the boot. And oh--the ties, he looks like he beat up a cabbage patch doll and took its tie.
1:25 pm
No way this just happened to me--wait, of course something like this just happened to me. I was put on snack run, which was a difficult task at that. I'm walking back w/ bag of cookies in hand and money in the other. I go to cross the street. This car drives up, stops and waves me to cross. Very nice, right? This man driving then proceeds to roll down his window and proposition me for sex. With his hands, he points to him and me quickly, smiles pervertedly, and gives a thumbs up to see if I agree. What??? Crazy.
Best part to me is that I'm wearing work clothes and my black work coat. Yeah, I got it that good yo.
Just thought you all should know that The Stache has worn the same suit everyday this week, but he's changed his awesome ties. Yesterday's tie was yellow and covered in little trees and cabins. And he wears weird boot shoes, w/ the back of his pants tucked into the boot. And oh--the ties, he looks like he beat up a cabbage patch doll and took its tie.
1:25 pm
No way this just happened to me--wait, of course something like this just happened to me. I was put on snack run, which was a difficult task at that. I'm walking back w/ bag of cookies in hand and money in the other. I go to cross the street. This car drives up, stops and waves me to cross. Very nice, right? This man driving then proceeds to roll down his window and proposition me for sex. With his hands, he points to him and me quickly, smiles pervertedly, and gives a thumbs up to see if I agree. What??? Crazy.
Best part to me is that I'm wearing work clothes and my black work coat. Yeah, I got it that good yo.
Day 6: TGIF
Today is Friday, and I'm about to go all ape shit up in this joint. That's my new stupid phrase for party. But for now, it's only 10 am, and I'm hoping to have some exciting live updates later on. But right now--you can hear all about my night out on the town in Pest.
After dinner, Terron (no clue how to spell name at all) went out. We hit up some place called "Old Man's Pub." It was hot. There were a ton of Euro dudes with MULLETS and yes, even a fanny pack. And yes, he was Hungarian through and through. It was hysterical. I felt like I was at the Euro trash party all over again. Das Klub!
Anyways, some greaseball was in love with me. We danced. Wait back up, he tried to become a 2nd skin to me. It was insane. Then Terron just runs off laughing. I could have killed him. All in all, though it was a good time. Good beer, and I got hit on my a crap ton of sketchy guys, and two girls. Out of control!
The best part--here's a drunk email to Karas:
"I'm being molested bt european men with molested."
I'm awesome.
After dinner, Terron (no clue how to spell name at all) went out. We hit up some place called "Old Man's Pub." It was hot. There were a ton of Euro dudes with MULLETS and yes, even a fanny pack. And yes, he was Hungarian through and through. It was hysterical. I felt like I was at the Euro trash party all over again. Das Klub!
Anyways, some greaseball was in love with me. We danced. Wait back up, he tried to become a 2nd skin to me. It was insane. Then Terron just runs off laughing. I could have killed him. All in all, though it was a good time. Good beer, and I got hit on my a crap ton of sketchy guys, and two girls. Out of control!
The best part--here's a drunk email to Karas:
"I'm being molested bt european men with molested."
I'm awesome.
Thursday, March 6, 2008
Day 5: Quickie
Hope the title didn't deceive you--no I didn't have a hot quickie with a cutie in the broom closet . . . yet. ha!
But it's official - John Lennon is married. Funny thing - his wife arrived today, and the ring magically went from pointer finger to ring finger. Very weird.
[REDACTED]
Ok--sorry for lack of updates today. I've not had a lot of access to my computer. Too bad too--it was a crazy ass day.
But it's official - John Lennon is married. Funny thing - his wife arrived today, and the ring magically went from pointer finger to ring finger. Very weird.
[REDACTED]
Ok--sorry for lack of updates today. I've not had a lot of access to my computer. Too bad too--it was a crazy ass day.
Wednesday, March 5, 2008
Did all my dreams just come true?
Pierce--my Pierce--on my top 5 Pierce--is a chubby chaser. His wife isn't the thinnest, and he likes it! I'm so in.
Tuesday, March 4, 2008
Live Updates
6:05 pm
Hungarian attorney just lifted her arms to stretch, and the BO about killed me. She could knock a vulture off a shit truck about 100 meters away.
[REDACTED]
3:45 pm to 5:07 pm
The Stache did not stop talking for this entire period. Incredible! I think next time I will try to record his voice so you all can enjoy what I can. Another team member sat and gave me the evil eye b/c I have my iPod. Even screeching Def Lepp couldn't drown this guy out. That's right - I said Def Lepp.
2:50 pm
FYI-Ladies. John Lennon still has the creepy 3/4 ring on his pointer finger. And he's wearing a black suit with white tennis shoes. I expect tomorrow's outfit will either have a keyboard tie or he'll go all out w/ tight rolled frosted jeans.
8:30 am
Ok real quick--this shit just got crazy. The Stache is not even British--he just occasionally speaks in that accent b/c he just spent a few weeks in London. Holy poop! He's Britney/Madonna. I love this!
10:42 am
To all my American friends who have traveled to Europe before--thanks A-holes for telling me that the toilet paper is like sandpaper here. No really, my bum thanks you. Seriously, what's the deal with this?
Hungarian attorney just lifted her arms to stretch, and the BO about killed me. She could knock a vulture off a shit truck about 100 meters away.
[REDACTED]
3:45 pm to 5:07 pm
The Stache did not stop talking for this entire period. Incredible! I think next time I will try to record his voice so you all can enjoy what I can. Another team member sat and gave me the evil eye b/c I have my iPod. Even screeching Def Lepp couldn't drown this guy out. That's right - I said Def Lepp.
2:50 pm
FYI-Ladies. John Lennon still has the creepy 3/4 ring on his pointer finger. And he's wearing a black suit with white tennis shoes. I expect tomorrow's outfit will either have a keyboard tie or he'll go all out w/ tight rolled frosted jeans.
8:30 am
Ok real quick--this shit just got crazy. The Stache is not even British--he just occasionally speaks in that accent b/c he just spent a few weeks in London. Holy poop! He's Britney/Madonna. I love this!
10:42 am
To all my American friends who have traveled to Europe before--thanks A-holes for telling me that the toilet paper is like sandpaper here. No really, my bum thanks you. Seriously, what's the deal with this?
Day 3: The Characters
I am now in my own world of "The Office." Allow me to introduce the characters:
The 'Stache - This guy is a British guy with a mad lisp. I originally thought him to be French, but oh no, he's British. The Lisp masks it. Anyways, he's about 5'5" and has a very special mustache. From afar it looks just like a regular mustache. But up close my friends, it's actually a mustache that closely surrounds his lips. Yes a border of hair to the lip if you will. And then separate from the merry-go-round stache is a gotee. It's quite impressive. He thinks he knows everything as well, and despite the lisp, can't get enough of his own voice. He's pretty awesome. He seriously waits for someone to talk and then runs, yes literally runs, right up and takes over. I have decided to mess with him constantly by asking completely irrelevant questions just to see if he has an answer. Oh the Stache of power.
John Lennon - this is a giant version of John Lennon, whose only purpose in life is simply to arrange tables. I have never seen anything like this since Trading Spaces. He even at one point stopped our IT guys to see if they could get him a screwdriver, so he could take a part desks in order to best maximize space. It's awesome. Meanwhile, my team just sat comfortably, not helping at all.
Good Ole Southern Boy with Nickname TBD: [REDACTED]
Until I get more creative to come up with characters for the rest of the folk, you'll just have to wait. Oh hold up - there's me:
The chubby giggling girl: I literally am so tickled by all of these people and my hilarious emails to various people throughout the day about them that I laugh out loud. People constantly stare and I have to apologize. It's cool though--at least I'm laughing!
Ok now onto the Setting:
I'm in a room about 20 by 20, if that. There will be a total of 17 of us--ridiculous! Right now there's about 10, and it's already stinky and hot. Yes, this furniture is so old that it has stale fart smell permanently on it. It's pretty awesome! Half of the chairs have some horrible white stain on its turquoise fabric. I'll leave that one to you guys. And now with all the people, it's really hot and stinky. To top that off, the European attorneys don't wear deodorant. Again--this is why I laugh out loud. And oh, the doors are made out of cheap particle boards. I was telling B earlier that I feel like the Incredible Hulk every time I open one.
The Food:
Everything has either gravy or potatoes involved, or both. It's pretty awesome! We actually saw a Chinese restaurant nearby and thought - yum General Tso's Potatoes.
With all of this said, please keep in mind that my life is fabulous right now. The city is gorgeous, the people are awesome, the food/wine are to die for--but you know me, I gotta find something to pick at.
Check back in for the soap opera that is my life.
The 'Stache - This guy is a British guy with a mad lisp. I originally thought him to be French, but oh no, he's British. The Lisp masks it. Anyways, he's about 5'5" and has a very special mustache. From afar it looks just like a regular mustache. But up close my friends, it's actually a mustache that closely surrounds his lips. Yes a border of hair to the lip if you will. And then separate from the merry-go-round stache is a gotee. It's quite impressive. He thinks he knows everything as well, and despite the lisp, can't get enough of his own voice. He's pretty awesome. He seriously waits for someone to talk and then runs, yes literally runs, right up and takes over. I have decided to mess with him constantly by asking completely irrelevant questions just to see if he has an answer. Oh the Stache of power.
John Lennon - this is a giant version of John Lennon, whose only purpose in life is simply to arrange tables. I have never seen anything like this since Trading Spaces. He even at one point stopped our IT guys to see if they could get him a screwdriver, so he could take a part desks in order to best maximize space. It's awesome. Meanwhile, my team just sat comfortably, not helping at all.
Good Ole Southern Boy with Nickname TBD: [REDACTED]
Until I get more creative to come up with characters for the rest of the folk, you'll just have to wait. Oh hold up - there's me:
The chubby giggling girl: I literally am so tickled by all of these people and my hilarious emails to various people throughout the day about them that I laugh out loud. People constantly stare and I have to apologize. It's cool though--at least I'm laughing!
Ok now onto the Setting:
I'm in a room about 20 by 20, if that. There will be a total of 17 of us--ridiculous! Right now there's about 10, and it's already stinky and hot. Yes, this furniture is so old that it has stale fart smell permanently on it. It's pretty awesome! Half of the chairs have some horrible white stain on its turquoise fabric. I'll leave that one to you guys. And now with all the people, it's really hot and stinky. To top that off, the European attorneys don't wear deodorant. Again--this is why I laugh out loud. And oh, the doors are made out of cheap particle boards. I was telling B earlier that I feel like the Incredible Hulk every time I open one.
The Food:
Everything has either gravy or potatoes involved, or both. It's pretty awesome! We actually saw a Chinese restaurant nearby and thought - yum General Tso's Potatoes.
With all of this said, please keep in mind that my life is fabulous right now. The city is gorgeous, the people are awesome, the food/wine are to die for--but you know me, I gotta find something to pick at.
Check back in for the soap opera that is my life.
Sunday, March 2, 2008
Day 1: Arrival
I'm here! And I just have to tell you that the flight over was A-MAZING! Business class is the way to go. I mean I had so much room, my seat reclined every which way, and it massaged. Hellooo (or Hallowww now that I'm here). Then, I ate insanely good food, watched movies--things I do every day, but I was in a plane. I can't wait for the flight home. Oh, and before I even flew out--the business lounge. Dear Jeebus! The food, the drinks, the everything. Kind of makes me hate rich people though--just a little bit.
Then, Budapest is pretty cool. I mean I've only seen the streets from the taxi. It's raining, I'm tired--and well, I'll be here forever, so no rush right? My room is really nice too.
And the best part--I'm totally doing fine with the accents. Other than I can't get them to stop calling me "Mrs. Neal." Oh well, maybe some hot Hungarian dude will find it cool to have an affair with an American woman. In that case, "Mrs." away.
Off to enjoy my jet lag, and maybe dance around some more.
Then, Budapest is pretty cool. I mean I've only seen the streets from the taxi. It's raining, I'm tired--and well, I'll be here forever, so no rush right? My room is really nice too.
And the best part--I'm totally doing fine with the accents. Other than I can't get them to stop calling me "Mrs. Neal." Oh well, maybe some hot Hungarian dude will find it cool to have an affair with an American woman. In that case, "Mrs." away.
Off to enjoy my jet lag, and maybe dance around some more.
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